Life audit : 2007

Well, its the end of the year, and time for some self reflections! Though I kind of dread this, I think it will be meaningful and worthwhile.

Studies
I shall focus on Yr 2 Sem 1, invariably as I have forgotten most of what went on in Yr 1 Sem 2. It has been a crazy sem, crazy tax, crazy accounting project... Many many nights staying up to battle the Zzz monster so I can get some tutorial questions or some assignments done.

It was trying, many times I doubted myself, felt like giving up. I think I kind of did, especially towards the exam period. Did not have enough time to finish revising, went into the exam hall for com law half hearted, therefore I believe my results for com law will be equally half as desirable.... But it is over, everything is set in stone, I can only leave these regrets where they are, in the past, and look forward.

The coming sem is going to be equally mad, with 6 modules, luckily ab228A ends rather early, and AB214 is non examinable. Nevertheless, I can forsee the madness about to come, with seniors telling me how much of a pain 201 and 202 can be, and all the projects... Projects are probably gonna be bad enough, but the worse thing is not getting into the same class as my fellow Tkbxs. It is really quite hard to fit everyone's schedules, as we have different preferences. All I can say is that my timetable is quite to my liking, apart from getting into a class with hardly any familiar faces... But I guess everything's in the mind, so I shall not worry, but welcome it with open arms, after all time moves on inexorably....

Friends
I have not been able to spend a lot of time with my closest friends, everyone is busy on their own. Oh well, at least there is December... :)

Family
This is the part where I feel guilty beyond words. I have not been a good daughter, sister to my family. I am often too caught up in my personal leisure, msning, watching heroes and what not.. And I think I have taken my family for granted. This I shall try very very hard not to do, as I know they are people who are not going to be around all the time. Many years later, I do not want to regret not "cherishing" them. What a difficult word to put into action...

Relationships
Got you there for a moment, didnt I? ; p Nahhhhhhh, right now I am still alone, and still enjoying singlehood. Many people are surprised I am still single, asking me questions about guys who went after me, things like that. I think the sorry truth is that, I am not an easy person to get along with. I expect a lot from myself, and to me, a relationship is a heavy commitment. I would expect no less what I give than what I receive. Which is difficult, especially when I know love doesnt work this way. There are going to be cases where one party is mostly at the receiving end, and the other one putting in most of the effort. Tough.

Driving
I decided to include this especially, because it became all to clear to me how expectations and disappointment are inverse functions. I had wanted to pass so so so badly, mainly because I wanted to end the terrible driving lessons - I so hate being put down constantly, wanted to drive..... But yes, I failed with FLYING colours, with 46 points! Hah. Oh well, you know what, I have put things into perspective, and whatever. Seriously, if I fail, I'll just take it again. Well of cos theres always the $$ factor. But well, driving does not deserve that much attention.

Hmmm right now I am twenty, byebye my teenage years! I still miss you a lot, still reminisce a lot, wishing too many a times when I was tired and helpless I could go back in time. So many things I have grown out of, so I hope I will find something new that I am passionate about.

Before the end of 2007, some things have to be left behind. :) Go dia!!

Finding meaning in life...

偶尔会不经意回想到过去，所以会想念，伤心。。。

不过，这期间，我也成长了。

想通了，也知道 life goes on.

And that I have my own life to live, and many things to look forward to.

To my friends: Don't worry! I'm feeling positive. =) Let's work hard everyone! Stay happy always~~ ^^

I am......

You Are An INFJ

The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience. You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them. In love, you truly see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow. You enjoy relationships as long as they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation. At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What's Your Personality Type?


Whyyyy does this NOT sound like me. Bleh.

Me lately

I've been really grumpy and out of sorts these days.

For that, I'm angry with myself.

Even more so, when I take it out on people around me.

Sorry thinkboxers... Especially Justin.....

I want to be the old dia!

The one who is willing to go the extra mile, the one who is willing to try,

The one who never gives up.

The one who tells herself that if she tries harder, it gets better.


----------------------


I will try. : )

Shoutout to thinkbox, who are almost the only few ppl who read my blog...
Thanks for putting up with me! Dia will try. Love you all. MUACKS! Keke.

Shoutout to Jan, lets meet up soon k? I miss you.

Shoutout to dia, welcome back.

Faith of the heart

My tarot...

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Erm. Doesnt sound like me.. Haha..

Tonight

Small Pain In My Chest

by Michael Mack

The soldier boy was sitting calmly underneath that tree. As I approached it, I could see him beckoning to me. The battle had been long and hard and lasted through the night And scores of figures on the ground lay still by morning's light. "I wonder if you'd help me, sir", he smiled as best he could. "A sip of water on this morn would surely do me good. We fought all day and fought all night with scarcely any rest - A sip of water for I have a small pain in my chest." As I looked at him, I could see the large stain on his shirt All reddish-brown from his warm blood mixed in with Asian dirt. "Not much", said he. "I count myself more lucky than the rest. They're all gone while I just have a small pain in my chest." "Must be fatigue", he weakly smiled. "I must be getting old. I see the sun is shining bright and yet I'm feeling cold. We climbed the hill, two hundred strong, but as we cleared the crest, The night exploded and I felt this small pain in my chest." "I looked around to get some aid - the only things I found Were big, deep craters in the earth - bodies on the ground. I kept on firing at them, sir. I tried to do my best, But finally sat down with this small pain in my chest." "I'm grateful, sir", he whispered, as I handed my canteen And smiled a smile that was, I think, the brightest that I've seen. "Seems silly that a man my size so full of vim and zest, Could find himself defeated by a small pain in his chest." "What would my wife be thinking of her man so strong and grown, If she could see me sitting here, too weak to stand alone? Could my mother have imagined, as she held me to her breast, That I'd be sitting HERE one day with this pain in my chest?" "Can it be getting dark so soon?" He winced up at the sun. "It's growing dim and I thought that the day had just begun. I think, before I travel on, I'll get a little rest .......... And, quietly, the boy died from that small pain in his chest. I don't recall what happened then. I think I must have cried; I put my arms around him and I pulled him to my side And, as I held him to me, I could feel our wounds were pressed The large one in my heart against the small one in his chest.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Not In Her Storm

by Sauni

I see the clouds rolling in and oh how it looks like rain And it is always I fight for the welcome change When it rains it pours on this heart of mine So, I take the storms I feel to her each time. But I know she has lived under her own pouring rain Yet under her water her heart still doesn't change She can walk away from what hangs overhead And, not in her storm, are words left unsaid. Not in her storm have I ever felt alone Her storm ends, so I, may find my way home It's for me that she pushes away her own rain So, that I may find comfort in calling her name. She lives in this world for the sake of another's heart God, how she eases the miles when worlds apart And she never wanders when your world falls through Not ever in her storm would she do this to you. She has wings that I know not only I can see Cause only an angel could find strength to carry me It's the way that the eyes can surely view How her heart's written so clearly in what an angel can do. Not in her storm is her work ever done And even in her storm she hands me the sun When her world is dark - I always have light And now how I hold the new color of night. She takes then she gives to an unhappy face So that many can find an awesome place I have been able to love her more every day And with her hand in mine the clouds roll away. Not in any storm that I will ever live beneath Could ever change what I hold here inside of me Not in any of her storms have I lost my angels touch To that angel out there, I love her so much.

Thinking about the end of sem..

Had plans to go Vietnam after sem 1. But it may not be possible afterall....

.......
...
..
.


The disappointment.

Oh well.

There are always alternatives.

Maybe I can persuade my parents to let me go alone.

Make your travels through time worthwhile
Choose the roads that allow you
Opportunities to grow and change

Look for adventures that challenge your abilities
And find mysteries in life
that excite your sense of wonder

Follow the roads that lead you
towards being the person
you really want to be

Remember, the important things in life
are the things YOU believe are important

I did not type this

"There comes a certain point in your life when you start to withdraw from people, preferring to build high walls around you, crawl into a cave and live in your own world where you indulge in emotions, thoughts and dreams which only you can understand. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to act the role, if you don’t feel like it. You don’t have to make a socially-acceptable comment for the sake of it. You don’t have to second-guess yourself and wonder if the words that were spoken were true or a pack of lies. You don’t have to please.

You can be yourself and not someone else you have to pretend to be."

Utada Hikaru - Flavor of life

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
the faintly burning pain.
The flavor of life

Neither friends nor lovers, in uncertain terms
like an un-riped fruit dreaming about the day of harvest
because of being unable to just move one more step forward
It’s just so frustrating

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
the faintly burning pain.
The flavor of life

Sweet talk and tasteless conversations.
i have no interest in them
even when things do not go the way I want them
you make me believe that there is still something in life

When asked ‘ whats wrong?’
I answer ‘its nothing’
The smile that disappears after goodbye
I’m not like myself anymore

The more i wish to believe in you,
For some reason it hurts even more
‘i like you’ instead of ‘i love you’ is more like the person I knew
the flavor of life

I wish I could cherish the white color of the falling snow like I used to
by the time I would remember the scent of the person I’ve nearly forgotten

A future tender and warmer than a diamond
i want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, i want to live it with you
when you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesnt
get undone even after the good bye.
the faintly burning pain.
The flavor of life

blank

Because escape was a million times easier.
Because the excuses made me go on with my life easier.
Because rejection would be unbearable for my prideful self if I tried and did not get past you.
Because I care so much, this guilt weighing on me all these years has made me realise...

That I do not want to run anymore.

No. I do not want to run anymore.

Even if I fail, I will face the rejection. I want to try.
And maybe, hopefully, you'll realise that I am sorry.

Sorry for the times I wasn't there, sorry for the times I was too angry and sorry for not being part of your life all these years.

I only hope you will understand.

The warrior knows an old saying: "If regrets could kill..."

And he knows that regrets can kill; they slowly eat away at the soul of someone who has done something wrong and they eventually lead to self-destruction.

The warrior does not want to die like that. When he acts perversely or maliciously - because he is a man of many faults - he is never too ashamed to ask for forgiveness.

If possible, he does his best to repair the wrong he has done. If the injured party is dead, then he does some good turn to a stranger and offers up that deed to the soul he has wounded.

A warrior of light has no regrets, because regrets can kill. He humbles himself and undoes the wrong that he has done.

Dear stranger

Today I will talk about a stranger in my life.

Let's call her Lady.

Ok so, back when I was young and impressionable, I met Lady and that was one of the first time I looked up to someone. (Discounting my previous idol, my primary school head prefect)

Lady had/has(im not sure anymore) a certain attractive quality about her, being taller than most other girls, very pretty and sporty at the same time.

I enjoyed talking to her very much, and found her personality and spirit very uplifting. Nevertheless, one day, Lady had to go.

She went away, and for reasons unknown, she never did reply my messages nor msn chats.

I still see her on my msn list, still intrigued by her msn nicks.

Life brings strangers together. We walk a distance together and then part in our paths without knowing. Some days, you take a backward glance and wonder: When did we part and why did we.

I will never know why though I still think about Lady sometimes.

Hm, holidays are great and not so great at the same time.

P.S. I am not les. :p

Into the noise and out

To my new neighbour who is moving in upstairs, I have been waking up to the fantastic sounds of your incessant and ear splitting drilling................ I am currently going nuts. Real nuts. Apparently Queen's "I was born to love you" isn't loud enough to drown you out.

Oh well, life is really weird.

There was a time, I wanted to do an internship, and then I did not get it.
Then came a time I wanted to get a good paying temp job and get to learn stuff.
That time came, and I got a good paying temp job, but I do not feel I'm learning much.
And now, I get called up by a law firm, asking me to do internship.
What??????

For me, the vicissitudes of life has taken form of a wacky dream and pretty much sums up what I feel is heading my way.

Dream scene 1: I was in the law firm office. It used orange lighting, and was kinda odd looking. I was seated in what seemed like a receptionist table, and I thought - I'm doomed, So what I expected all along was right. I'm just here to do shit.

Dream scene 2: I was given particular forms to fill up, and in between I glanced up, taking a better look of the office. I spotted a desk with a lady not too far away from me, and there was a label - Reception. Hm. (I think self-delusion works in dreams too)

Dream scene 3: Asked the person-in-charge, whether the 3 other interns were students like me, or were law students. He said they were law interns. I sensed a certain coughcough evasion from his tone.

Dream scene 4: Somehow a few adults from the law firm was to catch a flight. There was a kid too. This scene is really random. Can't remember much.

Dream scene 5: I happened to find myself in the plane, we have reached our destination and were walking down the landing.. Here.. Is the whole point of the dream.
We were trapped in water(just like the scene in the recent Naruto series, where Gai's students were trapped in that Croc guy's water jutsu) and then I believe minimised through a laser technology. Seconds later, a beam of destructive laser ripped us apart and we turned to ash.

Thank you for your kind attention.

You know how you will find me, pile of ash.

The hiatus

Been some time since I've updated this blog. As with most things with me, I get bored easily. Haha.. Oh well. Met up with my jc friends today, and its quite fun meeting them. A few of them got attached, and I realise.. we were discussing about boys a lot. Apart from that, reminiscing the old times in school. Both the good and bad. =)

While we were outdoors, Qi commented that she would imagine me working in one of the tall buildings. Inwardly, I was cringing a little. I do not think I am that outstanding, nor am I one of those high achievers. I always think of myself as a lazy and motivated-when-i want-to kind of person. The irony of it all is that I am constantly surrounded by high achievers. You would think that would help mould me into something similar..

Can't help but think about my life when I graduate.

What will I be like when I start work? Impeccably neat hair, dress suit and pants, with those clickity heels? Will I lose my way and find no balance between life and work? Wait, you can't lose your way when you do not know where you are going in the first place.

Oh and first, will I be able to find a job?

Will I be able to fulfill what I want? Would self-actualisation and financial ascetism find their way to me? Or rather, will I find my way to them?

I always envy people who have a clear goal and direction in life. I dislike being aimless...

And I want a temp job!! Bleah.

Blogger has some problems?

I can't read the comments, and the posting page turns out odd. Haha. Nvm. I have been slaaaaaaacking. Doing nothing but reading and watching shows.

Wellll, i've sent many emails, called up the agencies for temp jobs already. However, there doesn't seem to be much of a reply. =X

Oh well. Shall wait patiently. I'm starting my practical lesson on Monday! AHHH SO SCARY!! PLEASE do not let me knock anyone down. Please please please. =p

Sigh

I've been rejected.

The break

Finally the exams are over. Have not been doing much stuff, except watch videos, sleep like a pig, hanging out with friends.

Life is great, except for my dwindling bank account! Haha..

I think I've bummed around long enough. Time to start getting some work done.

Things to do:
1. Pack my room
2. Find a job
3. Read Advanced Theory again
4. Call up the driving instructor (Actually... I'm scared!! :p)
5. Start exercising a little
6. Finish the books from the libraries

Hmm. My dearest roomie is leaving on Tue. That's really soon! Hmm since I have time, maybe I'll write about my roomie.


My roomie has very thick beautiful hair,
which dries very slowly after her bath.
Her hair indicates how hard she studies,
as it falls out when she studies.
We always have so much fun together,
she and her meh-meh,
and her kiss meh-meh goodnight routine.

Now she is going to the yoyo land,
only coming back in August.
I hope she gets to meet the yoyo man,
and have a blast there!!

Hehe.. Dearest shing! Just want you to know you will be sorely missed! I know it will get tough at some point there, when you may feel a little lonely, but I know you're strong enough to overcome any obstacles. You are most welcome to email me and update me! (FYI, that's an obligation, not a matter of choice :P) Hehe..

Jiayou there ya? I know you can do it. Cya in August with loads of pics with the yoyo man, and the yoyo land.. -hugs-

All these time

I'm taking a break from studying FM. Well actually I'm just a little lazy. Hahaha.

I'm nearing the last lap of this extended race(3 weeks!). This time round, I am not as breathless as the last race, nor am I any happier when the race is over. I wonder if it is good or bad.

Everyone seems to have their plans in the holidays. I'll be missing a few people a lot too. My dearest roomie and neighbour are going to the US, uni friends are going for internships, while my bestie is going to Cambodia.

So I kinda feel lonely now. =p

All I know is that I have to get my driving license this hols.

On a side note,

Sometimes I really wonder what love is.

I saw the otter holding hands video, and I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't know that love could exist between animals. (I mean like, they always sleep around) Then some of my friends said, yes between some species of animals it could happen. And they do believe that it is possible.

Does it mean that they believe in love? Love seem to be so all encompassing for them.

I know there is the love between parents and children. But regarding about love between a boy and a girl, I have some insecurities.

Many years ago, the boy and the girl could have really really been in love, head over heels, sharing the same dreams and aspirations.

But after the "honeymoon" period, when the boy and girl finally gets married, have a family of their own, things seem to always change. This love isn't the same as the love they once had. Perhaps this love is made up partly of moral obligations and responsibility.

And then many years later, when the children of the boy and girl grows up, what is left of this love? Responsibility can take a back seat now. Is love merely the moral obligation left to the spouse?

It could be that many families around me seem to fall into that pattern that makes me feel this way. I know there are exceptions too. But they don't seem to happen very often.

Soooooo, at any point in time love isn't the same anymore, is it possible for the boy and girl to bade farewell to each other and turn their heads without looking back? And thereafter embark on a search for someone else who can give them what they seem to have lost progressively through the years?

Maybe I'm ignorant. Why do I see the world like this? Sometimes I wonder what is the true meaning of living...

Anyway, very ironically, this song is playing on my media player:

There must be a lesson for me to learn
If you don't trust in love,
you'll get nothing in return
Why should I be lonely,
don't tell me it's fine
I have my pride,
but I'd rather be with you tonight

Alright! Gotten that thing off my chest.

Everyone! Jiayou for our last paper. I shall go back to NPV, replacement chains...

What colour are you?

I koped the site link from KS's blog. Hehe.

*drum rolls*

D, your true color is Green!
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

HMMMMMMMMM.

I do have many green stuff.

What do you all think?

My life; yesterday, today and tomorrow

I just came back from hall with most of my stuff.

Very sad...

Daddy somemore keep asking me to hug hug my dearest roomie and neighbour. Daddy you know that will induce the tears.

I can't really put to words what I'm feeling right now.

But I know that I've made friends that will last a lifetime. Dearest friends who I have teased, laughed with, ran around crazily with, I hope I never forget anything.

At the same time I know that is rather impossible.

Though it hurts when we have to say our goodbyes, I know I gladly live the pain.

Because I do not think life would be as beautiful without all of you.

Because I know, I never felt more alive before.

=)

The Color of Friendship

Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel. All claimed that they were the best. The most important. The most useful. The favorite.

Green said:"Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves. Without me, all animals would die. Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority."

Blue interrupted:"You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing."

Yellow chuckled:"You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth into the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun."

Orange started next to blow her trumpet:"I am the color of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangoes, and papayas. I don't hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you."

Red could stand it no longer he shouted out:"I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood - life's blood! I am the color of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire into the blood. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon. I am the color of passion and of love, the red rose, the poinsettia and the poppy."

Purple rose up to his full height:He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: "I am the color of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me! They listen and obey."
Finally Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others, but with just as much determination: "Think of me. I am the color of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace."

And so the colors went on boasting, each convinced of his or her own superiority. Their quarreling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening thunder rolled and boomed. Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colors crouched down in fear, drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamor, rain began to speak:"You foolish colors, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me."
Doing as they were told, the colors united and joined hands.

The rain continued:"From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The Rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow." And so, whenever a good rain washes the world, and a Rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.

I'm going to see the phantom!!

Hehe.. =)))))))))

I feel good,

lalalalalalala

I feel good,

lalalalalalala

Like I should

lalalalalalala

I feel good~

:p

Don't be jealous!

It is cold and weird, Im weird

I am supposed to be studying right? After all that is the point of coming to the library.

But I'm not!

Why?

I don't know.

This keyboard sucks you know?

And the door to Lib 2 makes a farting noise when you open/close it. Do you know?

That could never be you, am I right?

You won't ever do that to me, am I right?

Tell me I'm thinking too much.

True Colours

You with the sad eyes

Dont be discouraged

Oh I realize

Its hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

And the darkness, inside you

Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And thats why I love you

So dont be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful,

Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then,

Dont be unhappy,

cant remember

When I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And youve taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know Ill be there

And Ill see your true color

Shining throughI see your true colors

And thats why I love you

So dont be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful,Like a rainbow

Thinks, things

Talked about many things with KS today on the way home. Did set off a train of thoughts which I spent some time thinking about before my short nap. For now, I will keep them in the back of my mind. When the exams are over, I promise myself that I will revisit them and think it through.

Note 1: Thanks a lot KS! :) You have always been a great friend to me and I actually do enjoy the conversations that we have. Seems like I've always confided in you like I do to my brother.

Note 2: Thanks a lot Justin! :) You are a very encouraging friend and you always bring me back to Earth when I slack off too much.

Note to all: Good luck for exams!!

Intoxication

I do not think I would like to drink coffee in the near future.

Somehow, my body finds caffeine repugnant. Either that, or there is this inexplicable coincidence that I consume food that my body dislikes when I drink coffee. However, it is highly likely that the discomfort I am feeling is directly attributable to coffee, since my metabolism is surprisingly robust for a girl. Meaning: I can take crappy stuff but still feel fine.

The weird effects of caffeine on me can be summarised as follows:

1. The giddy sensation in my head
2. Feeling cold at the fingers
3. The bloated feeling in my stomach

However, as with all things, just like what biz law always tells us to, we must adopt a holistic view with all matters.

Coming from another perspective, the following activities(or inactivities) could be liable for my discomfort:

1. The somewhat crazy, accelerated revision of my notes.
2. The sub-zero temperature of the library.
3. Lack of exercise, resulting in the formation of a dangly and flaccid carrot-looking human-form.
4. The constant peeping at the materials which the two uncles sharing the table with me were reading. A mildly difficult task, as I have to pretend to be spacing out but still take notice of what they are studying. The uncles were studying contract law!! How could I resist the temptation for a quick biz law revision now that the exams are so near? (Joke, joke)
5. The incredible(and possibly illegal) amount of definitions I have to forcefully squeeze and cram into my already limited brain capacity.

I am extremely horrified to find that there are only 2 sets of Digital Life from the library! I hope there are more, just tucked away carefully, patiently waiting for me to pounce and devour them.

As with most discomforts, the jester adopts a two-pronged approach: sleep it off or laugh it away.

Goodbye!

People talking without speaking, hearing without listening

My very first post. Did this out of boredom and frustration cos exams are so near. Yes, I should be studying though.

Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again

This sem has been drastically different for me. I wouldn't say whether it is better or worse. I've become more independent, traversing the spines alone more, thinking more, talking less. I miss my friends from sem 1.

I think I enjoy being alone as I grow older. This is getting worrying.
Could it be the lack of opportunities to talk and interact? Or is the world getting busier? Or is it me.

I always prided myself on the ability to remain postive amidst tough times, somehow this sem has weakened this resolve of mine. I am a little vulnerable now, though I know I should never think this way.

I wish I were stronger.

I wish I were more than this.

What dreams have I chased to come so far?

People writing songs, that voices never shared, no one did